Can't stop now

On January 31st, I started what was to change my entire perception of food. I started a diet and found a way of life. I started a 7 week program to lose weight and ended up finding out a lot about myself.
I am addicted to food. I do not use it as a fuel source so that my body can function, but instead I see it as a comforter when I am sad or depressed. It is something to do when I am bored. Every event in my life is centered around it. It's more like entertainment. I think about it even when it is not time to eat. I don't even have to be hungry to use it. Sounds bad doesn't it? When did my life become so centered on food? Yeah, you have to have it to survive, but you should be the one consuming it. It shouldn't be consuming you.
So, for 7 weeks of my life I stuck to my plan. Yes, I still had to think about food, but I was thinking about what it could either do FOR me or do TO me. I stayed away from the kinds of food that would do something to me and managed to lose around 30 lbs. It was wonderful! I was full of energy and my clothes were to big. I had to go buy new jeans because my old ones were literally hanging off of me. I had people telling me how great I looked. I felt so accomplished. My lifestyle completely changed. I was eating to live instead of living to eat. Everything got better. I've had knee problems since childhood, long before there was ever a weight problem. Sometimes it would hurt so bad just to walk around the house, much less any where else I needed to go. Several years ago I was diagnosed with GERD. The constant reflux issues left me with a sore throat that never went away as well as other fun things I had to deal with on a near daily basis. Once my diet changed, these things changed too. The reflux pretty much stopped. I wasn't feeding the fire, so to speak, any more. I hiked around Stone Mountain with NO pain! My girls loved that, let me tell you! I was a new person.
Unfortunately, this story isn't all happy. I had a hiccup in my plan a couple of months ago. For one excuse (because that's really all it can be called) or another, I just up and quit. Why would I do that, you ask. Well, I really don't have a good answer. I got tired. I got lazy. I gave up trying. When you've dealt with an addiction like this for as long as I have, you really have to put effort into changing and I just got tired of putting all that effort into me. I now am worse off than I was before. I'm sick all the time. My back and my knee hurt just about every day. I just feel awful. But I'm not completely upset that I've done this to myself. It really validates my reasons for making the changes that I made. It helps to remember just how bad this way of life feels. I don't want to be like this any more. I like the changes that I've made in myself.
So, starting tomorrow morning I'm back on track. I lost 30 lbs in 7 weeks so I can't wait to see where I am this time next year.